"I still cant understand why you have to do this to me. Haiz."
Ey dah, tkpayah sarcastic ohkay. Hmpf (!)
Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!!!!! Sezairi is in again! I cried the very moment he was called to the Top 3 (supposed to be Top 3). Hahaha, i just finished watching SI. And weirdly, theres no elemination. (?) Nehmind, im confident Sezairi will go far. He was the first one to be called to the Top 3 tao! Aduii~ Cant stand Tabby alrd. Shes like so overly confident after Ken Lim praised her. Nb. Whatever whatever! Sezairi is still the one! ;D
Goshhhh! My stomach is killing me right now ;( Idk why, feel like crying. Tsk, so pain! Ohya, saw Afiq, Yasseen & Joe they all at the moshpit thingy. Tak payah make a fool of yourselves pat tv per! Haha, funny ah. Tmro going jb, wont be updating till Sunday. Lamer per.. And ill be dye-ing my hair tmro also. Haha, wait fer pichas ay. Hahaha, pathetic siol tady mak aku pon shouted with me when Sez & Sylvia was called ;D Thats my mum~
Again, my prepaid is low. Aduiii~ And sadly, my trip to Phuket with Dee was cancelled. Due to some probs. Haiz, nehmindd. Hope next time can ah. And i owe her a dance to our first song (!) And we have the most romantic first song on earth. Then just now she very caring, ask me take panadol cuz my stomach like shiat. *Awwwwwwwwwwwhhss~ Dee, i love you (!) Ey, dont go to Pari ah please. Hahahaha! its tuesdayy
Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 9:06 PM
"Shadows fill an empty heart, as love is fading.."
Hmm, today, fer me is not a good day. Cuz nothing makes me feel good. And somebody has been keeping quiet from me. I cried, really. I woke up today, was just expecting his msge to appear. But, haiz. I only texted Mamat, Tinie, Wany, Spark & Diana jer. You know, this makes me really give up on putting hopes on a guy. Love really went away. ;( I stayed at home again today. Clean up my house here & there, watch tv & watched my brother chat and all. Punyer lahh pathetic. And today, Tinie sounded quite lame at msge, wth. Hahahahaha. Aper lahh kan.
Ohyaa, Diana's asking me to go withher to Phuket. Gerek per! Haha, sure i want. And like, only me, her & her dad per gy! Gonna have loads of fun :)))) The beach (!) aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh.. Hope can uhh~ Ey. Recored siol aku tak text bnyak orng nyari. Haha. Bubye peoples. its mondayy.
Monday, November 23, 2009, 6:34 PM
Hello peoples :) Ive been staying at home since like, yesterday? And im glued to my lappy =.= Whoa, lately ive been watching alot of Apit's videos. Haha, mcm cair kdg kdg aku dngr dier nyanyi.. ;D Yesterday i talked otp with KA again (!) But awhile only, nehmind. Ohya!! Im single now, wow enough? *Hiaakdushh!* Ohkay, i dont wanna talk abt him. Hmm, just now talked otp awhile with Linabby, and i really pity her. Cheer up aite hunns? :) I really dont have much to talk about, cuz i just want to make my blog stay alive. Haha. Aduii, Spark wants to blanjer me mkan, and idk when im free. See how lahh ehs. Whoa, chatting dngn KA,suddenly he sign out. Weird lahh that guy kdg kdg. Haha. Ohkay bye. its sundayy.
Sunday, November 22, 2009, 6:51 PM
"Ku menangis membayangkan betapa kejamnya dirimu atas diriku."
Hi world. Guess what, im on the verge on ________ __. Can guess it? Haiz, begitu pathetic sey love life aku. Hahhs. Another failure in a r/s. And hey, dont think imma bad girl whatsoever lahh. If you really wanna know whatsup with this guy im with now, here's why. ;D
- He scolds/nag at me even to the smallest things he thinks its wrong. (Eg. Standing far away from him when we're smoking, i didnt hug him that much- in public siak (!), didnt text him during his breaktimes at work, never wake him up fer work, said that i talked to him in a rude manner- when i didnt (!) & always say i dont care for him. Pfffffftttt.
What the lahh sey. If you guys wanna know, we fought almost all the time when we're otp. Pathetic much? Haiz. Thot that after we've started out, thgs will get much more interesting lahh kan. Skali i didnt expect at all things will turn out this way. Always fight & fight, mcm si*l.. Yesterday met him at Town pon, gadoh. Kiwakk, i cry pat public siol. And and! Have you girls met a guy that scolds you when you cry? Well, he's the guy (!) He always find my mistakes, even to the most smallest mistakes!! He has a problem that, he always want things to be on his own favour and not thinking about how the other party feels. (?) I get rimas when he wants to get me into his own taste of perfection. Mak dier lahh! Haha. I even once said, if you cant accept me fer who i am, go find other girls. Member teros mengamok, haha! Serious sak, ive never had a guy who always find me in the wrong. They accept me fer who i am. Takbley terime? Angkat kaki jalan sudahh. Niy tidak, siket nk tegor.
When i met him kan yesterday, there was this one part when my couz misscalled. So i just send her a text uh, asking why she misscalled me. Then he marah me, say he dont like me to text somebody else when im with him. Dier kate sensitive. Pala buuu..dak uh. Dah tu takper! Ader satu part his friend called him. Time tu tngh bising. Teros we go smoke, he called back. Bla..bla.., he called another person. Then i was like, "you call org boley, i stakat text org you dah mengamok! Aper barang niy?! You bobal pat hp, ader i kater pape?!" Teros he diam. One more thing, he likes to scold me things that he also do. But when i tegor him, tak terime. Binget kan? Haiz. Serious sey, im getting on my nerves with him. Tady i got text him, asking "what IF i wanna breakup?" He just replied "Sukati u..i tk bley buat pape. . Org dh tk syg ape ley buat.." Penggggg siol teros. He didnt even care?! Ohkay fine, jangan farahnyer giler dah sampai, baru dier menyesal. And yahh, smlm malam otp, pon gadoh. =.=
Thats it lahh, aku binget bobal sal dier. I dont even give a damn about him. I diverted my hp. ;D Up to him uh wanna do what, i dont care! So frustrated, and i feel tired cuz i kept all of this to myself and the patience that i uphold towards him. Dah bagos dapat mataey mcm aku, yang boley bertahan. Hmpf.
To KA, thanks fer being there fer me always yeaa? Love you! Song fer you- Forever In My Life ;D its fridayy.
Friday, November 20, 2009, 10:24 PM
Somebody said, "Of cause.my heart throb when i see u with other guys"
Haiz. Sorry KA. Gosh, this love has taken its toll on me! Yesterday i actually talked otp with KA (!) Well, before that we texted awhile. Then i feel like talking to him cuz i was feeling bored. End up dier yg call =.= Quite fun uh talking to him, suare cute nakmamz! Hahaha. Well, he's the only one i told my love problems that am facing right now to. Baru ferst time bobal, dah mcm lame gtuhh kenal kan. Lol (!) Talked fer 1 hour+ i think, teros he say want bath. So we hanged up awhile and he say jgn tydo. I waited fer half an hour gtuh, he senyapp =.= Paitao sey dier. Haha. Teros i just send a gdnight msge, said nehmind~ Then, ader org tu kater nk blog. Tapy tak. Urghhh. And yahh, honestly i tell you guys, am not happy in this r/s. Fcuk. Ader lahh some probs. His attitude and all. Mcm si*l.. I cried real bad fer the past few days. Mak oyy, tuhan jer yg tau. Ive no mood to blog actually. Anything tanyer thru msn jer kay? Haiz. Ohya, to Mamat, last long dngn your girl kay? Sajak sngt korang dua (: Love? Forget it. I give up. :'( its thursdayy.
Thursday, November 19, 2009, 6:32 PM
"The person you love most is the person who hurt you the most. The person who hurt you the most is the person who can make you happy." -Kiki's Blog (:
A big YAY 'cuz Faizal Isa's finally out! Hahahahaha. Unexpected? Jaws dropped? Well to you girls who support him, come'on. He dont have a good voice! Wtf, looks? I think my fathers's more handsome (pukes!) ;D Gee, my support fer Sezairi all this while have paid off! Top 4 siol! Even Ken Lim said its possible fer him to get into top 3. Well, i hope he'll managed to clinched the finals ;DD Hearing that he's the first to be called to the next round, i was so damn damn eff. happy lahh siol! I was just waiting anxiously fer the moment where F.I would be out. And there goes! Its so obvious lahh he has no voice, even from Ken Lim's gesture, we can see F.I is not one of his favouritism. Too bad uh ey! Hahaha. Thanks loads to the fan who chose Sezairi's song yesterday. OMG, he just looked super duper awesome! So cute and funky he is! And a big hooray too fer Charles, fer making it to the top 4 ;D
>> Haha, i just finished browsing through th SI blog. Fun ey~
Jyeahh, still at my sister's house. Boredd siol tak klua. Tsk. I miss my friends!! ;( its tuesdayy.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 6:12 PM
Farah's officially attached with Hadyy^^ on 101109 (!)Pathetic per muke dier. Much better in real life ;D
Dang. Another boring day huh. Guess what. Im still at my sister's hse, cuz im having a conflict again with mum! Like wtf gtuhh ehh. Shes really one big problem to me sometimes. One of her perangai wich i hate most is, she likes to accuse! Waduhh~ Alrighty, it all started this way. On sSaturday i was out with Hady, 'cuz we were so eff. bored. So, off we go to Marina Square at first. Then wanna go outside Esp there. Skali some of the roads were closed, due to the APEC thingy. Pissed, we bought drinks and cookies and sat arnd Marina Steps and plan where we wanna go next. Suddenly i came to rmb that i kinda miss Henderson Waves. But nk pergy sane kinda leceh, 'cuz must take bus dari Vivo. But since Hady pon dont mind, we go take MRT from City Hall to Outram. Then tukar train to Harbourfront. Rched Vivo alrd, smoke awhile then we go walk to the bustop. I was so confusedd 'cuz i forgot what bus to take to that place(Hortpark). Then we browsed through the bus directions all, and finally decided to take 57. But, we were still 50/50 cuz it didnt clearly state the exact road of the place. It was just stated "Alexandra Pt". (?) But i know that place is at Alexendra ther. Then we sat down. Skali i decided to ask the woman beside me, what bus to take to Hortpark. Then she say should be 57 uh, 'cuz shes also taking the same bus to her friend's crib. How kind of her, to call her friend to ask for us. So, its true that we must take 57. So we waited..and waited..and waited..and waited.. Guess what, the bus finally arrived after 30 mins. ^$#~!%*# Aku dah pissed gyler pat situ, Hady even smoked 3 sticks and leave me there. I was so mabok alrd, nearly cried. Lamer gyler siol! Ohkay lahh, dah sampai i was like "Phew.. At last." Then dah sampai tu tempat, smoke again and we walked.. I swear to you guys who are reading, that place was eff. dark!! Actually Henderson Waves is located at Hortpark. Hortpark consist of different bridges and stuffs. So, Henderson Waves is one of'em. But to walk to that place, we have to walk through a very high bridge, so damn long and that place is dark. No ppl arnd, only a few that passed us. Teros my mum was calling alrd. I didnt pick up first 'cuz i wanted to wait till we are settled down. Then aku dah fedup, aku angkat jer uhh. Abey mengamok gyler siak dngn aku! Dier ckap aku pergy tempat merepek lahh, buat kerje bodoh lahh. That time was 8.30 tao. Then she asked me to reach home by 9. Pathetic ke aper! Must like, go Vivo by bus, take MRT all. Dah marah, tak fikir siak. One of her perangai, make pathetic decisions when angry. Mcm si*l.. :S
Teros she go call my brother, complain. Kiwak, then he also called me and scold the shit out of me. Cb, tu lagy satu step manernyer baek. Pfft~ He said, if 9 i never rch home, he want beat me up. Mcm si*l.. Then Hady tngh duduk, stress alrd. I statred crying badly alrd. He pujok me all, say try talk to'em nicely, ask to extend time uhh. I tried talk nicely to my brother, dier marah aku lagy. Fcuk him upside down lahh. Then i heck care, i ask my mum to call. I talk to her all uhh. Teros she say just be home a.s.a.p. Then my sis texted, nk dtg her hse tak. I ask mum, she say ohkay. Then dah ohkay uhh sumer.
Smlm, i told her yg i wanted to watch movie dngn Tinie they all. So i asked her if she could transfer duit to my sis uh, since am not going home yesterday. Then she say, she malas want klua. Kay tak pasal. Teros i say, if tkbleh give money, just allow me to go with Hady on Saturday uhh, 'cuz he gaji. He also wanted to watch with me. Then she mengamok. She say something like, "Kau jgn nk mcm2! Dah kasi klua dgn jantan, g tempat tk betol! Kau dah g beromen (some sort of motek ?), nk bodoh2 kan aku! Sudah!" Kiwak, farah sabar jer siol. Then i explain all uhh, that Henderson Waves bnyak org, bukannyer sunyi what. Then she dont care and accuse me of doing stupid things there, then tak kasi me pergy. Menyirap siol darah. Immediately i say, "Gasak ma lahh, lau tempat tu sunyi takper. Nk tudoh2 jer." Teros senyap.
Then dah braper minutes gtuhh, i text her saying i dont wanna come back since she & my brother insist on not believing me. And im stress 'cuz she always tudoh me. Then she reply that if i dont wanna come back, pack my things and berambos. Haiz, perangai kann? I very sad siol. She like, ppl's mistakes she like to point out. Her attitude all ehh, dont want admit. Mcm si*l.. Always wanna win, hot-tempered, self-centered, impatient. Thats my mum. Imagine how i live uhh. Fcuk siol hidop niy macam. Now, ive no cash in hand. Ohya, she also say if i want money, then i find her. KNN CB, she more money-faced than me sial! Ah kan, aku dah mengamok. If pasal duit, she will do anything punyer siol. Nabei. Serious uhh, i always cry 'cuz of her. Always kasi me prob one.
Succha long post about my mum. Haiz, when will i get freedom uhh? Boley mati siol ginie. Pfft~
First and foremost, thanks many many to my dearest gf, Kiki fer the post. You send me to tears babe! Haha, really uhh, those words meaningful giler sey. Then, the song at her profile somemore. Nice banget oyy. Cant believe she actually said its specially fer me. ;D Once again, thanks yeaa~
Wow, nowadays seemed like a love breakdown fer me. Haiya, idk why i said that. Why do girls love to cry fer their loved ones? Does it give'em the strength to move on, or make'em even weaker to accept the fact? Well. To me, crying isnt the only way to express how much we truly love that person. Its to show either ; - How weak we are fer'em or, - How strong you will be after you cried.
Jyeahh, both befalled me. Whenever i cried, ppl say im showing the guy im too weak and fer that, he'll step on me even more. Haiz. But it turm out that ill always feel better after crying. Im really thankful to those who have stayed near me while im crying and stuffs.
>> Currently song played- What About Now. *Awwwwwwwhhs.
I believe i can be strong without love. Cuz whatever that may have obstructed my way, i know its all just in the matter of time. So when the right time comes fer me to love someone right, ill definitely cherish him (: Indeed im scared to fall in love again, but hey. We all know we cant avoid that. Right? ;D Aler, sometimes i feel bored talking abt love shits. I just want to be free from misery, thats all.
To Kiki, im glad fer you now that you've kinda move on kan? Truly happy. And thanks alot fer thoe advice you've given me through my hard times in love. Even if my stories were pathetic at times, you;d still listen to'em. Haha, farah..farah.. An yah, your post very nice! ;D Be happy dgn Amri kay? And make sure he jage your heart tawww! Anything, just talk wih me (:
Walaooooo, i just watched Sezairi in the Final 6 which he sang What Goes Around Comes Around at summer-in-the-shower.bs, i cried! Haha, sungguhhhhhh cair-ing. My oh my Sezairi, why do you always have to make me go stunned by your most romantic voice? Amazing Airi~
Hi peeps. Sorry fer the long-time-never-update huh. Was abit lazy to go online and stuffs~ Preferred to stay at home, or chill out. Getting bored with my daily life in front of the lappy. Some stuffs happened, and im glad that everythg's okayy now. Jyeahh, aku happy skrg without him, abeyy asal ehh? Lol! Stap fanae lahh pulak~ Hmm, jkjk ayes. Ive moved on lahh, and i wont let myself drown in my past. Skrg, pandai pandai amek tau aku attached ke taak. Hahaha. ;D Actually now am in school, with Tinie Wany Nina & Sheikha. Just finished Malay class. Tady pagy farah ader English class, but i skipped with Fyd. Haha. Sat at 200+ situh. Before that ate Macd breakfast. Kenyaaaang~ I slept at 2+ siol yesterday. Late ke whaaat. Tsk.
You're drifting away from me ;( Tell ya'll about today ~
- Chemistry class, late as usual. Fyd vommited, lol. - Went toilet after class, cried fer so long. Cuz' of Mamat. Cb. - Fyd scolded me fer this stupidityyyy. - Was so sadddd, thinking about my life right now, tsk. - Went Subway, eat fresh~ Zul came, took Fyd away. Left me, Dee, Pari & Hannah. - Go toilet, then library. Laugh like shits, i swear. Lucky nvr kena chase out. - Took candids and stuffs. I kinda became a clown, idk whyy. - Elysee came, talk awhile. Hannah went home. - Got so boredd, decided go Woodlands. Then off we go took 965. - Causeway, met Devona and bought cd then gave it to Dee. - Then we go buy Ciggs. Ask one bangla. Hahahaha! - Cant believe i actualy smoked three sticks at one go. Teros mabokk. - Walk from Woodlans MRT, ending us up at Admiralty MRT (arnd there). - Wierd, i was the one leading the whole time. Worse, i knew the place better then Pari when she actually lived in Woodlands. - After smoking, walked back to Civic Center (i think, haha.). Go NTUC. (: - I went back after that, took 966. Pari, Dee & Elysee went Admiralty bazaar. - In the bus, i cried again. PIE jam, made it a 30 minutes journey. Aiyerrs. - At home, bathed, eat. Now im infront of the lappy.
Wtf life, at last Fyd knocked some sense into my head just now. Its true what she said all ~ He's just not worth fer everything. Haiz. Takder apape, farah kene maki atas bawah siol dri dier. ;( Just fyi, i cried its not cuz i maseh love hm or what. I just dk whyy he has to make my life so miserable, make me suffer and totally throw my feelings arnd. If he really want me to hate him, just say so, right?? He's changes drastically, Fyd said. Its damn eff. true. I cried fer a jerk, i let myself fall fer him over and over again. Ending up breaking down to my knees and cry. Why cant he just let go of me in a nice way? Haiz. Ive done that, but does he have to make my life feel so empty?! Fcuk, he must be smiling seeing me go. Farah, kau bebtol bodohhhh. Knn cb, FORGET ABOUT HIM!!
Still finding a way to let go of this misery. Haizzzzz.
Jyeaahh. I feel so down today idk why. Went home, its raining. And my tears rolled down endlessly, like fer real. So many things happened around me lately ~ Making the path of my life now more complicated and stuffs. Sungguh menyakitkan hati. Mum's attitude has been suckish towards me lately, fer no reasons? Like shiats seh. I dont even talk much to her now. Haiz. Ive been crying alot lately, maybe some ppl dont realise. I may be smiling and laughing like there's no tmro. But dalam hati, pedih sungguh siot. Maybe i lack of TLCs (tender, love & care). I just miss loving somebody and being loved by that somebody. Im afraid of false hopes. Hmm.. Just now went home, sat under my blk fer 30 minutes. Letting out those tears, and letting go of certain memories. I want a new life, please. I dont wanna live in the past. Problems keep obstructing my way, and im yet to break free. Haiz, why? Love is unfair, life is cruel. How worse can it get?! Fer goodness sake.
Promise In The Dark ~ "Can’t count on you most of all when I really need it It’s the simple things that you do really hurt my feelings The more I try, the more I’m starting to see it This can’t work anymore, than you believe it
Goodbye may come as a shock Even though I love you a lot I’ve given every breath I’ve got Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe
Add how many times I gave my heart To how many times we fell apart And it equals A promise in the dark So don’t promise me
Add how many times I gave you me Divided by so many memories And it equals A promise in the dark So don’t promise me
I just don’t know what the problem is, what the deal is Was I there too much, did I move too fast, I couldn’t see it? All these promises are probably how you deal with it I’m tired of hearing you say your innocent
Don’t think I forgot Because I really didn’t, who cares if you’re lying or not I’ve given every breath I’ve got Sometimes you gotta break down and breathe
We all make mistakes Sometimes we do desperate things What does it prove? NOTHING And you never do nothing wrong
Then what took you so long, took you so long Cuz I keep, keep hanging on, keep, keep hanging on"
Gosh. I feel so lazy wanna post. And jyeahh, abit pissed of samer satu budak yg spam tagboard aku. Sunggu merepek. Tsk. Beh dah gtuhh takper, he go KA punyer blog and spam also. Nnt aku kater kau saket hati, kau tak terime. Kau bodoh ke aper seh. Live your own life uh, ppl are talking abt ya. Stupidest shit uh. Org yg tak bersalah pon kau nk kacau. Heck care lahhs kan.
Hmm, feeling abit bored right now, cuz KA's been studying since petang. Maybe now he sleeping, he must be so tired ;( And tdi pagi got English class, boring to the max oyy. Tambunana talked and talked and talked like there's no tmro. Tsk. After that go KFC eat with Dee, Pari and Hannah Montana. So the kecoh habes seh. Hahaha. Hannah kept on hitting me. Watchout, i owe you till next year prom. ;D After that walked to 736 meet Wany & Sheikha. Waited fer Tinie and Nina finish malay dance. Then got satu nyonya like fxcking scary siol the muke. Face mcm zombie, and when she walked, tangan dier all the way trembling siol! Gosh, Wany nearly cried. Mmg Farah sumpah, muke dier scary. Okay dah, dont talk abt her. Then biler Nina & Tinie dah sampai, off we go to Nortpoint. Eyy, tiam patner ehh? Hahaha. Saw Kid at MRT, then teros he texted me randomly. Haha. Things that happened at Northpoint; - Wany balek straight after rched Np. Tsk. - Bought new smiley stud ;D - Went libary, saw herni samer Yasseen. - Sit, text ppl. Laughed. - Saw hot guys, went paranoid jap. (!) But i got KA dah cukopp (: - At 3.30 jalan, go post office samer Tinie. - Go home, eat, sleep. (:
Okayy wow. Hahaha, im so missing KA now. ;( Think he sleeping ~ Walaoo, life's been so dull and all. Just need some love. Haiz. Ohhhh yaaaah, i finally get to sabo abg aku at JB last weekends. Sedap ke aper. He always sabo me no mercy punyer when my birthday. Cb uh. Nehmind, dah kene cukop pon ;D And and, i won him fer bowling. AT LAST! Okay, Fir tua is saying aku sombong -.- Aper luh he. Hmm, tmro got maths class pulak. Adoii. :S Ey, now then i realise. Im talking so randomly. Lol. I CANNOT UPLOAD PICHAS!!!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009, 10:47 PM
